I'm drive I can fine osifer
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
