He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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