Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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