he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
