so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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