help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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