"it" just moved
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
