Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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