It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
