Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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