note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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