I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
