At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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