therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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