I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
