So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
