guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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