I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
