I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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