We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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