i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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