Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
