I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
