Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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