If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
