so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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