i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
