i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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