Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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