i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
