do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
