You really coming over, don't trick.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
