Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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