playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
