never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
