Dual....:-)
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
