I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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