you would pick up someone in the library
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
