Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
