You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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