My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
