He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
