She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
