we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
