he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
