i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
