There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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