Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
