No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
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I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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