you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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