We won't sleep together?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Randomize
