and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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