i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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