just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
