atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
