I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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