So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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