Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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