We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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