I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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