I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You smell like stripper and shame
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
