Need sex. Gaining weight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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