the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
