I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
