Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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