Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
