were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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