Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
