Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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